Snow is melting - 2024 01 22
THE SUN NEVER SAYS
Even
after
all this time
the sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look
what happens
with a love like that --
it lights the whole
world.
Hafiz (1320 - 1389)
One day Mom was feeling low, lying in bed in the middle of the day.
I had been outside walking the dog just before I came in to check on her.
She was feeling too weak to get up and I reassured her that she was not lazy, she was giving her 93 year old body the rest it needed so it could get up later. She was comforted by that idea.
I reached out to hold her hands, both to make a connection and to check on her body temperature. Her hands were as warm as a hot water bottle.
"Oh, Jenny, your hands are so cold! Let me warm them up." She sandwiched both my hands between hers and held them tight. It warmed my heart that my frail elder Mom was giving her love as best she could to light the world.
Yesterday we visited my extremely frail elder Aunt, Mom's older sister. At 98 she is rapidly declining after complications from a broken hip and aspiration pneumonia. At this point she is in the final stage of 'comfort care'. They are no longer providing any medical intervention beyond pain and agitation management. She is extremely weak and barely able to speak.
We were standing around her bed and sharing our deep admiration for the exemplary life she had lived. We reminded her of two important lessons she had conveyed over our lifetimes, "Stay in touch", and "Organize the family archives and make sure everything is properly labeled." We all laughed at this second point because Aunt had been so dedicated over the last 10 years of going through her library of family pictures, papers, letters, and household items and putting each of our names on different things so we would know who was supposed to get what after she was gone.
Aunt struggled to speak and we struggled to understand what she was saying. Every syllable was taking great effort and not easy to decipher. We nodded encouragingly, wanting to hear what might be her last words. Finally my Cousin figured it out. "She is asking, "Is there anything I can do?""
These are the women in my life. These are my role models. This is the light they bring to the world. No matter how they are suffering, or weakened by pain or infirmity, it does not occur to them to stop giving their love to help make things easier for us in some way. Even if the thing they are hoping to help with is us all grasping the reality that they will not always be here with us. It is hard to imagine a world without my dear Aunt and my amazing Mom. I know they are trying to help, and they make us stronger, by their progressive frailty and their abiding strength.
The snow is melting. The sun is lighting the world for another day.
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