Fountain of Youth - 2023 11 09

 

After a certain age our body systems go through myriad stages of adjustment and eventual breakdown. Disease processes that were a inconvenience in our 50s might necessitate a doctor's visit in our 60s and further medical interventions in our 70s and 80s. By the time we are in our 90s there are compounding impacts as various body systems run in increasing states of interconnected frailty and intermittent failure.

We have been going through a difficult time getting Mom's digestive system back to regular function. This is pretty much the caregiver's nightmare, an experience and knowledge of our frail elder's body that we were not prepared for and would prefer not to know. It has been hard for Mom on multiple fronts, not the least of which being her loss of body autonomy and self-control. 

We are lucky with our Mom. Although she suffered disabling mental illness in her 20s that resulted in living in mental health group housing for forty years, her mental illness was never complicated with a personality disorder. Mom actually has a sunny disposition, a great sense of humour and a sportsman's attitude to challenge, "Let's see what we can do."

Last evening she was feeling uncharacteristically low. She was struggling to get under the covers because the blankets are just too heavy for her to lift. This is a woman who washed the family laundry through a wringer washer twice a week while various children used the laundry tubs as a mini-wading pool and the pet donkey munched gravenstein apples out under the clothesline.

"I am sorry, Jenny. I am so lazy. I can't get these blankets sorted out."

"Mom, you are not lazy. You are 93 years old."

"I am feeling so weak. And I have all these aches and pains when I move."

"Mom, when you think about it, that makes sense. You have lived a long time and your body has always been so strong and capable. Now you are feeling weak, achy and having trouble getting the covers up. You aren't lazy, Mom, you are old and there isn't much we can do about that. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to have an elixir that you could drink and all these troubles would disappear."

"Yes, that would be nice." Mom's face brightened.

I laughed, "Mom, that would be the Fountain of Youth! They have been looking for that elixir since humans started to get old and frail. If we had that we could live forever!"

"But Mom, what would be the point in that? Can you imagine having to get up every day forever and answering the question, 'Whatever am I going to do today?'"

We both had a good laugh at that thought. 

"Thank you, darling, for taking care of me. You are an angel."

"Sleep well, Mom." I kissed her on the forehead. "It was a good day."