primarycaregiver2022

  Mom woke up this morning singing. This is not unusual, when she has energy, she often sings. This morning's song was, When I grow too old to dream, I'll have you to remember. When I grow too old to dream, Your love will live in my heart. So kiss me my sweet, and so let us part. And when I grow too old to dream, That kiss will live in my heart. It was a song her oldest sister used to sing at the piano when Mom was a little girl. She still remembers all the words.

  After a certain age our body systems go through myriad stages of adjustment and eventual breakdown. Disease processes that were a inconvenience in our 50s might necessitate a doctor's visit in our 60s and further medical interventions in our 70s and 80s. By the time we are in our 90s there are compounding impacts as various body systems run in increasing states of interconnected frailty and intermittent failure. We have been going through a difficult time getting Mom's digestive system back to regular function. This is pretty much the caregiver's nightmare, an experience and knowledge of our frail elder's body that we were not prepared for and would prefer not to know. It has been hard for Mom on multiple fronts, not the least of which being her loss of body autonomy and self-control.  We are lucky with our Mom. Although she suffered disabling mental illness in her 20s that resulted in living in mental health group housing for forty years, her mental illness was never...