Making the best of it - 2023 05 07

 


I was surprised when I was making the crow drawing that I chose to build the form with red pencil crayon. 

Mom had gone down for a rest in her room. I was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee with Matt, talking about the impact of Mom's recent visit to the doctor. Thinking about time, eternity, and what we are going to do today.

Mom came out of her room with her overcoat half on, "Help me, Jenny, I am stuck. I want to go sit outside."

Red is such a powerful colour, symbolic of life, passion, energy.

I moved quickly to her side and helped her get her coat up onto her shoulder. Mom turned to go outside. As she pivoted toward the door I realized she was losing her balance and starting to go down. I threw my arms around her in a bear hug and held on, keeping my balance as her weight shifted against me. As I felt her weight transfer back to her feet, I could feel her steady and stand up straighter. 

Now I leaned on Mom, burying my head on her shoulder, a sob escaped as some of the tension I had been feeling since the doctor's visit found a way out. Tears welled up as Mom rested her head briefly on my shoulder and hugged me back. 

Red reminds me of blood, our circulation system, the flow of life energy.

As we stepped apart, I said, "Mom, we really don't know what is coming, but my approach is to 'get my monies worth'." Mom looked puzzled, and I explained, "We will make the best of the time we have."

Mom replied, "Yes, Jenny. I understand that. We will live each day as if it is our last and enjoy the day we have."

Mom stepped carefully out onto the porch and sank gratefully onto the chair cushion.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Mom?"

"That would be wonderful."

Just for today we continue. We go about our daily routines, making the best of the time we have together.

Everyday I walk the dogs. Everyday there are crows. Everyday the crows give me a moment of curiosity, wondering what they are up to. They remind me that life is not fair, that life is life. That life and death are inseparable. That this is the life I have and I will make the best of it.



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