Crow steps out - 2023 05 17

 

Crow steps out from the known to the unknown.

I have been struggling with the issues of privacy and ethics weighed against the importance of telling stories from the front lines of caregiving. If we don't have thoughtful first-hand accounts of this work, it will never be understood. Government leadership, policy makers and health executives experience the complexity themselves. 

I have started a practice of reading my writing to Mom and discussing our story toward the greater good of building community and bringing comfort to those who labour in isolation in their work as family caregivers.

It was a revelation to read my writing for this post to Mom today. Very encouraging.

After Mom's fall I had to figure out next steps. The first calls were to my eldest brother and sister, who serve with me on a sort of 'steering' committee when it comes to weighing options, priorities and opportunities for Mom's health and well being. 

After the fall I continued to check in with Mom for any residual effects - headache, dizzyness, pain, etc. She had nothing to report. So it seemed we had gotten through that event without any additional injury.

Mom had mentioned a sore neck a couple of days before her fall. I assumed she might have a stiff neck from sleeping too long in one position. But after the fall, she showed me the lump in her neck. It was about the size of a golf ball, it didn't hurt. 

So now I had three data points: 1. sore neck, 2. fall, 3. lump in her neck. 

I had also noticed her wet cough from last year seemed to be returning. Add data point 4. wet cough.

I had also noticed increased moments of weakness for Mom, for example, one morning she couldn't push herself upright into sitting position to eat her breakfast in bed. Data point 5. increased weakness.

My first task was to get a video appointment with Mom's GP. 

I continued to query Mom about what had happened during the fall and over several days it emerged that her legs had just given out from under her, "My legs just gave out". She had not lost consciousness. It was her knees. That made sense, because Mom's knees are badly damaged by arthritis. It appeared they had buckled under her weight and she was not able to catch herself before going down.

Instructions from the GP were to monitor the lump in Mom's neck for a week and if it didn't go down, to book a consult so he could do a physical exam. He specified she would likely need an ultrasound and a chest x-ray to help with the diagnosis. Data point 6. doctor expects lump will need ultra sound and chest x-ray.

We reviewed the collection of data points:

1. sore neck
2. fall from knees giving out
3. lump in neck
4. wet cough
5. increased weakness
6. GP expects to require ultra sound and chest x-ray

We realized there was no point in waiting to make the appointment for the in-person consult with the GP. The sooner we could figure out what was happening, the better prepared we would be for whatever was coming next.

I booked the doctor's appointment and made arrangements with my youngest brother to help me transport Mom and attend the appointment with me.

There is this recurring feeling each day of stepping into the unknown. In the blink of an eye so much can change, and over the course of many days there are many small changes too insignificant to note. It is only after the fact, in review, that those small changes add up to significant events.

Crow steps out into the unknown. It isn't a big step and we don't know the significance until later.