Let Me Help

Adele keeps Mom's chair warm.

Mornings are slow for Mom. That is when she has the most discomfort from her shoulder and her breathing is the most difficult.

Our morning routine is for her to stay in bed until she is ready to get up. On Tuesdays there is no caregiver coming first thing in the morning to give her sponge bath, so we have the morning to freewheel.

This morning I was woken by Mom reciting words from her room, over and over again, "Warm, kind, free." I had another bad night's sleep because I stayed up after Mom went to sleep and drank a cup of tea to work at my desk. This meant I got to bed late and then had trouble falling and staying asleep. You would think I would learn, but that is another topic.

I got up and I could smell the pungent odour from the commode all the way down the hall. I rinsed and took Mom in her dentures and refilled her water glass before mopping the floor. I got Mom her morning juice with the laxative supplement. I am adding extra supplement these days to offset the constipating effect of the T3s Mom is taking for her shoulder pain.

I put the kettle on to boil for Mom's tea and got my own breakfast ready. 

When I brought Mom her tea, she had sunk back into her pillow, eyes closed, breathing quietly. 

"Hey, Mom, do you want some tea?" Her eyes popped open and she smiled, "Yes, I do!"

I re-arranged the side table so she could sip the tea without having to lift her arm. The effort of raising herself to sip the tea left her breathless and she sank back onto the pillow, her eyes closed, labouring for breath.

"How is your arm feeling, Mom? Any pain?"

She opened her eyes and looked right at me, "No pain, no pain, no pain."

"Do you need a pain killer, Mom?"

"No, no. I don't need anything. I am happy, warm and free."

I reached under the covers to check the warmth of her hands. Mom exclaimed, "Your hands are cold! Let me help!" She took my hand in both of hers cradling it gently to warm it up.

Mom's entire body was as warm as a hot water bottle. 

I stood there quietly as she transferred her warmth through her hands into my body. I rested my head on her shoulder and marvelled at Mom's life spirit, even at this time, finding a way to help, to make things better.

And her warm touch did help. It helped me cope with the enormity of this work, of the sublime beauty of our human spirit and the warm touch of love.

I feel bad for all of those who work tirelessly for financial gain, notoriety, material possessions, while missing out on what is most important, this feeling of connection, of being of service, of helping each other.