primarycaregiver2022

  It has taken two years for me to figure out how to live and work as a family caregiver for my frail elder Mom. There is a structure starting to emerge for my days and potential lines of self-employment that are coming into view that fit with that structure. First - I was not planning on retiring from my work as a project management consultant. Having lived with a hidden disability all my working life, I had never had the kind of consistent employment and financial security that would have funded a retirement. I was planning on continuing with my consulting work into my 70s as it felt manageable and I figured I was likely to get better with age : )  Mom moved in on November 1, 2021, the year I turned 65. I was still working full time and weathering the disruptions of Covid to my paid workflow. During 2022 it became clear that my main client work was wrapping up and I realized I did not have the inspiration to try to find another client or apply for a job in project management...

  Mom is off to stay with family for a two-night overnight. She will be back sometime Boxing Day TBD.  My brother picked her up at 10 am. She was dressed in her new green corduroy pantsuit with a new brown knit cap tied with her signature red ribbon.  There were three bags for Mom's trip. The first bag had her pyjamas, slippers and house coat. Oops! I just remembered I forgot to pack extra Depends for the trip. I'll see if they need me to run them up or if they will pick some up. They may have some on hand from previous visits.  The second bag had Mom's medications. Oops again. I'm not sure I gave them tomorrow night's dose and also Tuesday morning dose. I think I am going to have to make an extra trip to make sure they have everything they need. The third bag had presents from Mom for family and also extra gifts left from my out-of-town brother's visit here that might fit other family members. I got distracted during packing because I was trying to figure out i...

There is no protocol in place that is activated when a family member says, "We are going to bring our frail elder home because they can't fend for themself anymore and we don't want them to go into an institution."  A couple of mornings ago I noticed a large swelling and open wound on Mom's left ankle. There is no preparation for the scope of work the family is undertaking. Often this is the first time the family has taken on the role of primary caregiver and the responsibility of providing geriatric caregiving infrastructure. What could it be? Was it the cancer we had treated last spring re-emerging in a new place? Was it a bed sore? Was the hot water bottle too hot and burned the skin? There are no predictions for the timespan for the mission of providing family-based caregiving infrastructure. The mission is to provide for the needs of our frail elder until their life comes to an end. The final milestone in the family caregiving mission is death of their loved ...